You were used to understanding, “babe I’m going out with Jack”, have fun, “babe sorry I came late, you know with three mouths to feed, bills, school fees, parents and family in shaggz, my mum’s house to renovate and all the social events we got to attend, I got to work harder”. Thank you for working so hard to keep things afloat, you just need to know that I am here for you, I’m right behind your every decision. You loved him to a fault and he fooled you. Yes baby, you were fooled.
With the “babes”, and the “I love you clichés”, you failed to think right, and now you are in a mess you can hardly explain. You have been providing food, grooming and praying for a man you don’t know one bit. As you were busy with the children and getting your career back, you have no idea that your house is collateral for a ten million loan, money whose use you have not seen. You were too busy to inquire why he was spending too much time in Isinya with “work friends”. Too busy to ask why he wanted the contacts of your architect friend and why he had wanted you to introduce them.
Your eyes are now open, your mind is awakened, you get a call from school requesting you to go pick your children as school fees have not be paid, it’s the second term now, in arrears. They just called you because they cannot reach your husband who usually deals with the school issues because they are friends with the owner of the school, you get home to find auctioneers at your door and that’s when you get to know of a ten million loan. Apparently, you were served notice with regard to the auctioneering and so yes, there is nothing you can do about it. You try, to buy them out, but they are hell-bent to get your stuff. You call your husband he is ‘mteja’, you call his office, he resigned a week ago without notice, he got a position with Kajiado County government. You are left clueless, no house, children to feed, at least for the night (you convince yourself) before you can reach your loving husband.
You call your sister, request her to have your kids as you sort out a few things. You then decide to really find out what was going on. You call your husband’s best friend, he is seemingly alarmed and apologetic for no reason. You demand to know what was going on and he only says that he warned him but he couldn’t listen. You call your husband’s best friend’s wife and she invites you for coffee, she is the only one with guts to tell you what was going on. He had remarried, living in his newly built house in Isinya, with his very pregnant wife. You still can’t believe it and you want to see it yourself. So, you go to Isinya and find him happy, easy life, no worry in the world. Your presence does not even bother him, his new wife knows about you, she knows that a divorce you are not aware of is underway.
You want an explanation but he gives none, you wish he could speak so you would get to let your anger out while yelling back but he is quiet, you want to strangle him, you want to slap him, kick him, call the neighbors and the pope, tell them of what a disgrace he is. You had loved him, picked him up when he had nothing, struggled through life together, buried his shame when he was crawling, struggling with low self-esteem and the rejection by his family, yet he played you. He is seemingly unapologetic, no excuses, no explanations just a blank look, because you are the queen of exaggeration, making a mountain out of a molehill. You got to understand that he is a man and men have moments of weakness, men are random and can do the unthinkable, men are free to do what men want. What do men want? They want freedom without responsibility, life is never that serious. Men remarry with no explanations and without necessarily kicking you out of “your” house.
With children to feed and educate, you gotta let “men” be men, and even with your sinking and wounded heart, you’ll start again because women are builders.
Life as it is 